Out!

Well it's been a dramatic couple of months, though really the whole last 18 months have been quite a ride! But I've been coming out to all my friends with my new identity and loving it! The way my friends have reacted has been so positive and reassuring that it's given me the confidence to take this further! Rather than being rejected by the people I know, it's if anything brought me closer to them.

Illustration styles..

A page from my sketch book, with on image coloured in using flash, this is just the start of my new work; I'm going to start publishing on here. I'm working towards creating a portfolio of illustration work aiming at children's books.

Watch this space!

On the way to the Gender Identity Clinic

Out in the real world again in day light, on my way to my first appointment at the Charing Cross gender identity clinic. These are my first steps towards womanhood, it's a long road, good job I'm wearing flats ;)

Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic Day

Wow so my day at the clinic is finally here and my head is all over the place. I'm constantly worried that I'm doing the right thing, that I will be able to hack life as a psuedo woman. Life is quite hard for me right now with out adding the trans issue in. If I'm totally honest with myself I do doubt that I am a transsexual, some times. Putting a skirt on did turn me on when I was younger and I'm not sure if this makes me technically a tranny? This doesn't feel like a fetish to me, but then who am I to know, I feel like such a prude in the trans world as it is anyway.

The biggest deal with today is the sense that I'm making a very dramatic step in the direction of womanhood and even though this is something I've dreamed of since a very young age it scares my socks off and I guess for very good reasons, if it didn't worry me at all there would be something wrong.

Out clubbing at Transisters in Brighton, I'm so pleased with how far I've progressed in the last year and I feel it shows in how happy I look in this photo. Who knows how much I will change in the coming year? I can wait!!

Digital ghosts of lost friends

A friend of mine died recently, quite suddenly.. This was quite a shock to me and all her friends. She leaves behind 3 beautiful girls, who will be devastated. A single mother she lived for her daughters and was just rebuilding her life after the split from their father. 

This is just one of those terrible tragic things that life is prone to through at us! The thing, I was messing about on Facebook the other day and came accross her on my list of friends. Her Facebook page is still there.. All the photos of her and her daughters on holiday.. All the silly jokes and messages with her friends. It was hard to remember that she was dead. As she died so suddenly no will know her passwords or account details. So I guess her account will just sit there, frozen in time. The last comments on her wall from just a few days before she died. This has made me think, how many pages are there, where the user has died like this. If I died who would know to remove all the little bits of web stuff I have out there..? In way it's quite poetic, a lasting memory of the real person.. The stupid facile stuff we all post and talk about, rather than the piousness that takes over often when someone dies. 

Groove Armada

Groove Armadas new ep is available through this link if you want to down the load the track and then share it with your friends..

http://www.bliveshare.com/share/cIhBLNXYnXxiGxJnaJTT/cassdavis

2008...

Well what a incredible year 2008 was, I've gone from having a beard, body hair and a paunch, I've let my masculine life fall back. Shaved off the beard , body hair and lost about a stone in weight! Buying a good wig and a nice pair of breasts from ebay! The transformation has been such a incredible journey.

But going out as a girl for the first time has to be the stand out moment of the year even if I probably looked terrible and was scared to death. It was such a revelation! The world didn't explode and no one screamed in horror as I walked down the street. Since then I've been out so many times there is not much point in writing them all up any more. The thing I will always remember is the first time I heard my own heels click clacking down the street!

I've also made some fantastic friends, Tasha, Sophie, Jay and Zo to name but a few of them. Other friendships have been transformed by the new me! The female friends, I've come out to have been incredibly supportive and kept me sane through all the craziness. That they now see me as a woman is such an incredible compliment, I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction if I'd tried!

Anyway all those people who have touched my life over the last year here is a great big THANK YOU!! Thank you to the guys who've shown me what fun a girl can have with a nice boy in her bed! I'd never thought I'd be writing this last year let alone having done it! And thank you to all the fun and funny boys and girls I've met on-line. For making me laugh and listening to my random waffle...